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Art Of Discovering Harmful Friends




    Bad Company Corrupts Good Morals


    We are social animals. We meet a lot of people and make a lot of friends. But some of those friends are beneficiary in our life and most of them are completely worthless! Among those worthless friends, the most dangerous ones are the harmful ones.

    If your companions are good then you will grow by mutual benefits. On the other hand, a bad companion will not certainly help you to reach to a higher altitude, rather they will draw you back. If someone, you asked about ‘How to reach to the nearest taxi stand’, replies that you can not reach over there, means that the person firstly, does not know the answer, in which case, it is better to ask the same to someone who knows the direction, or not willing to let you reach over there, in which case it is better to find out another person who is going to help you to reach in your desired destination and even after repeated failure does not put forward only excuses explaining why you could not reach to the nearest taxi stand.

    If you want an YES and your company says its impossible for you to have an yes, then the company of yours CAN NOT take you to the yes route as obvious, rather s/he will take every care to prove her/himself as righteous, by drawing you back. So dump that bad company and find a good company who knows how to make it an yes and will also can pave an way to take to the yes route, provided that you really want to go to the yes route!     

    Here I present you a few ways to master the art of knowing which friends of you are harmful. Harmful friends are to be rejected right away and never be looked back in your lifetime. You can befriend back a harmful friend if and only if you are sure that you want to make a Hell out of your life. Remember, You Only Live Once!!




        Ann Davis said 23 signs to know that your companions are harmful:


    Your friend is pushing you hard until you hit a record low with stress.

    You feel powerless and even a little embarrassed.

    As a friend, you should have a better handle on this, right?

    But maybe you’re too hard on your friend. Maybe you need to forget the bruises and forgive — again.

    Before you resign yourself to your friend’s behavior, know this:

    “Friends are like stars,they come and go, but the ones that stay are the ones that glow” — Unknown.

    Staying with toxic friends influences you more than you think:

    “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” — Jim Rohn

    Here are 23 signs to help you identify toxic friends

    1. They convey criticism

    They lack consistency in their words. They’re like snipers you don’t know when they might strike, and their advice is a kick-to-the-stomach that makes you feel small and embarrassed.

    2. They’re smart.

    They are like a single aircraft propeller. They skillfully determine which direction you move and how fast you go. If you try resisting, they fill you up with guilt until you cave in.

    3. They’re covetous

    They feel bitter when you acquire things they don’t have instead of being happy for you.

    “As iron is eaten away by rust, so the envious are consumed by their own passion.” — Greek Philosopher

    4. They discredit you

    They doubt everything you say or do. They hold you in low esteem and spread lies about you. They lack faith in you and belittles your achievements.

    5. They lack empathy

    They don’t feel your pain.

    “If you can empathize with someone, it’s because you have been in their place, you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.” — Greek Pathos

    Well, don’t expect that from toxic people.

    6. They’re untrustworthy

    They disclose secrets confined to them which destroys the trust you put in them.

    7. They’re freeloaders

    They take advantage of your generosity and give nothing in return. They can stay at your house for months or years without chipping in for groceries, or even offering a thank-you.

    8. They’re gossipy

    They chatter behind your back and spread rumors about you. Their gossip is like a whirlwind, and it destroys your reputation in a short period.

    9. They’re unhappy

    Low spirits mark their lives. Always dissatisfied, complaining, discontent and misery are their companions.

    10.They’re self-centered

    They offer help when it’s convenient to them not to you. They only care about themselves and don’t consider you. They’d probably refuse you into their boat if your’s was sinking.

    11. Their life is a living drama

    They live in “one life” and “another world” dragging you into their exaggerated lifestyles. Describing a bad day is stretched to an abnormal level.

    12. They bully

    They use your emotions to attack you. Your morale gets destroyed and you end up psychologically damaged.

    13. They’re blabby

    They talk too much. You never get a chance to put one word in a conversation. When you do, they talk about you until you shut up.

    14. They’re judgmental

    They pass harsh and critical judgment based on their own ideas. They’re not open to hearing your version of the story.

    15. They’re liars

    They habitually lie with every intention to deceive you. They tell improbable stories which you know are far from the truth.

    16. They’re bigheaded

    They are too stuck up to deal with and for the most part, they just talk about themselves.

    17. They’re stubborn

    It’s their way or no way. They’re uncompromising and won’t bend their schedule to accommodate your plans. Ajahn Sumedho nailed it when he said:

    “The mind of an enlightened human being is flexible and adaptable. The mind of the ignorant person is conditioned and fixed.”

    18. They’re fussy

    They’re picky and needy, annoying and hard to please. You can only make yourself scarce when they get fussy because pleasing them is not an option.

    19. They’re resentful

    They never give up their ruthless nature. If they believe you have wronged them they won’t forget until their mean-spirited wrath is launched on you.

    20. They’re harsh

    They get involved in fights over petty arguments. They like to sow division just to agitate, they start with friendly talk, then it becomes contentious, and finally a conflict.

    “You can never win an argument with a negative person they only hear what suits them and listen only to respond.” — Michael P. Watson.

    21. They’re inconsistent

    Their commitment to the friendship is hard to predict. You get frustrated trying to understand them.It’s time to remember

    “Don’t deal with sometime-ish people. Life is too short for inconsistency.” — Rayaleradin

    22. They’re pessimistic

    They always believe the evil outweighs the good. And that is, bad things are likely to happen.They’re always discouraged which is a downer for those near them, including you.

    23. They’re cheap

    They lack generosity and are concerned with themselves. They grudgingly share with you when you’re in need. They forget that:

    “No one has ever become poor by giving.” — Anne Frank

    Immunization against toxic friends

    Most people lack the courage to let go.

    Tackling your personal relationships will give you the confidence to achieve your dream.

    Firing a toxic friend is not hard.

    Realize you can only spend time with sparkling stars.

    And that begins with letting go of toxic people

    Now is the time to honor your authentic values and break loose.



    How To Break Loose From Harmful Friend(s)?


    You Can Dump Your Friends

    Now and then implementing your limits implies advising the individual to stop and not giving them a chance to proceed with their shitty conduct. Yet, now and then upholding your limits implies that you have to just leave the relationship totally.

    We ramble about saying a final farewell to our lady friends or beaus, our married couples… yet as often as possible we don’t understand we can say a final farewell to our companions as well. What’s more, tragically, in some cases it’s vital.

    It can be unimaginably troublesome. Completion a relationship is hard, however from multiple points of view, finishing a fellowship can be harder. You may feel as if this implies you’ve “bombed” by one means or another. You may experience serious difficulties of relinquishing a relationship that is gone on for quite a long time or even years. You may stress this will imply that you will need to surrender your whole group of friends or wind up having no companions by any stretch of the imagination.

    These are for the most part legitimate and sensible feelings of trepidation. Relinquishing a long haul relationship, dispassionate or something else, is terrifying. Now and again removing a dangerous individual of your life means being willing to begin once again totally and finding another group of friends. Once in a while those lethal companions are talented controllers. They will make you out to be the terrible person in the circumstance and utilize that strain to attempt to influence you to feel irrational and to give in. They may utilize the danger of turning your companions against you to attempt to panic you out of leaving.

    Be that as it may, as unnerving and scary as it can be, finishing the kinship is justified, despite all the trouble. Your confidence, your mental and passionate wellbeing is much more significant than enduring somebody who tries to undermine you every step of the way.

    Simply having been companions with somebody for quite a while doesn’t legitimize proceeding to keep them in your life in the event that they’re lethal. This is known as the Sunk Cost Fallacyyou’ve been companions with them for so long that you truly can’t give up now, despite the fact that they make you hopeless.

    Truth be told, numerous harmful companions will depend on this as a method for holding you around and under their effective reach. From multiple points of view, it’s smarter to leave a gathering if being with them implies letting one of them – or a few of them – manhandle you. You can simply attempt and keep up your fellowships with the people who are genuine companions. Some of the time that is impractical and you wind up starting without any preparation again – an unbelievably scaring prospect for some individuals.

    In any case, it’s justified, despite all the trouble. You will discover other, better, genuine companions out there – ones who really regard you as a companion rather than a bite toy and punching sack. Having and keeping up those solid limits will help keep the harmful companions under control. You’ll see that you can rest easy, that your life is better finished all. Life’s too short to give individuals a chance to take delight from you. End your life back. Take your confidence back. Solidify your limits and dump your harmful companions for the last time.


    Now I would like you to know a concept of economics called ‘Sunk Cost Fallacy‘. You will be amazed to know, that you have fallen victim of this fallacy so many times in your life so far. But this is the time to learn and stride! 


    Sunk Cost Fallacy

    Many individuals have solid misgivings about “wasting” assets (loss aversion). Consider an example including a non-refundable baseball final match ticket, many individuals, for instance, would feel obliged to go to the occasion in spite of not so much needing to, on the grounds that doing so generally would squander the ticket value; they feel they’ve passed the final turning point. This is now and again alluded to as the sunk cost fallacy. Financial experts would mark this conduct “irrational”: it is wasteful in light of the fact that it misallocates assets by relying upon data that is superfluous to the choice being made.

    This line of considering, thus, may mirror a non-standard measure of utility, which is at last subjective and remarkable to the customer. A ticket-purchaser who buys a ticket to an occasion they won’t appreciate ahead of time makes a semi-open sense of duty regarding watching it. To leave early is to influence this failure to comprehend the issues at hand to show to outsiders, an appearance they may somehow or another maintain a strategic distance from. Then again, they may take pride in having perceived the open door cost of the option utilization of time.



    What Great Insides Said About Bad Companions:

    In Bible it is said:


    1 Corinthians 15:33 :


    Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”

    Proverbs 12:26:


    The righteous is a guide to his neighbor, But the way of the wicked leads them astray.

    Proverbs 18:24:


    A man of too many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

    Proverbs 13:20:


    He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.

    Proverbs 11:14:


    Where there is no guidance the people fall, But in abundance of counselors there is victory.

    Proverbs 20:6:


    Many a man proclaims his own loyalty, But who can find a trustworthy man?

    Ecclesiastes 4:9-10:


    Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.

    Proverbs 14:6-7:


    A scoffer seeks wisdom and finds none, But knowledge is easy to one who has understanding. Leave the presence of a fool, Or you will not discern words of knowledge.

    Luke 6:31:


    “Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.

    Proverbs 27:6:


    Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

    Proverbs 22:24-25:


    Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, Or you will learn his ways And find a snare for yourself.

    Job 2:11:


    Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, they came each one from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite; and they made an appointment together to come to sympathize with him and comfort him.

    Psalm 1:1:


    How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!

    1 Corinthians 5:11:


    But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler–not even to eat with such a one.

    Proverbs 17:17:


    A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.



    Also know 

    “7 things negative people will do to you. They will… 
    1. Demean your value;
    2. Destroy your image
    3. Drive you crazily!
    4. Dispose your dreams!
    5. Discredit your imagination!
    6. Deframe your abilities and
    7. Disbelieve your opinions!

    Stay away from negative people!” 

    ― Israelmore Ayivor


    “To be of good quality, you have to excuse yourself from the presence of shallow and callow minded individuals.” 

    ― Michael Bassey Johnson


    “Fake friends; those who only drill holes under your boat to get it leaking; those who discredit your ambitions and those who pretend they love you, but behind their backs they know they are in to destroy your legacies.” 

    ― Israelmore Ayivor, Shaping the dream



    “Free your life from the fangs of gossips by not associating yourself with them. Anyone who helps you to gossip about someone can also help someone to gossip about you.” 

    ― Israelmore Ayivor


    “If you choose bad companions, no one will believe that you are anything but bad yourself.” 

    ― Aesop, Aesop’s Fables


    “Always remember that you were once alone, and the crowd you see in your life today are just as unecessary as when you were alone.” 

    ― Michael Bassey Johnson


    “Fire False Friends as early as possible. Do it before they dig out the dream seeds you’ve planted! The earlier, the better; the quicker, the safer!” 

    ― Israelmore Ayivor, Daily Drive 365


    “A bad friend is is worse than an enemy, an enemy you can see and avoid, but to detect an insincere friend is hard” 

    ― Bangambiki Habyarimana, The Great Pearl of Wisdom


    “There are only two kinds of people who can drain your energy: those you love, and those you fear. In both instances it is you who let them in. They did not force their way into your aura, or pry their way into your reality experience.” 

    ― Anthon St. Maarten


    “You will meet a lot of people in your life; some laugh with you, others will laugh at you; some will love to clean your mess, others will love to mess you up! Love all, but choose carefully the one who stays close to you forever!” 

    ― Israelmore Ayivor, Daily Drive 365


    “Develop a can-do-spirit and be sure you are not suppressed by the naysayers whose daily actions are meant to discourage you from achieving what you believe.” 

    ― Israelmore Ayivor, Dream Big!: See Your Bigger Picture!


    “You will know a friendship is not natural when you don’t feel relaxed with” 

    ― Bangambiki Habyarimana, The Great Pearl of Wisdom


    “Stay away from people who drive your emotions crazily. Find a better company!” 

    ― Israelmore Ayivor, Become a Better You


    “Friendship is like an investment; the best type yields the best profit for you! It’s not just about making friends; it’s about making right friends for the right reasons!” 

    ― Israelmore Ayivor, Daily Drive 365




    Let me know what do you think. Write your thoughts in the comment section.





    ~THE END~







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