Hurt

-by Nassir Wallace

 

These are my thoughts raw, i didnt check for mistakes, i didnt want to. It was just something i wrote when i was sad. The goal was to share my thoughts freely. If somebody reads that and this makes him feel a little better, I am glad. I am not trying to publish something that makes sense or to motivate people. Just my thoughts uncensored. English is not my mother tongue so you will find a lot of mistakes and thats fine by me. Warned you. Kisses haha!

Ok first thought, thats kinda cringy
but lets give it a title

HURT

I know even though i find that kinda cringy a lot of people will feel me
a lot of people going though the same shit.

Ok let me put some music on, so emotions come to surfice

I did it again
I havent binged that bad in quite a while (why is that? Dont know maybe my environment and sad feelings)
We all have our coping methods, mine is food, shit food until i cant eat no more

even now i think to make this good for the readers
well fuck the readers
i do it for myself
people pleasing so many years, its stuck in me

So i have been binging the last 3-4 days
bad
but we gotta find whats the problem
why i did it?

Lemme get this from the start
Is it lack of female attention?
For sure but is that it?

You could say i was recently rejected by 2 girls,
which kind of hurts so i am trying to cope with it by eating and numbing myself with pleasure (lots of masturbation too)
so yeah i guess i was seeking easy pleasure
fast, easy pleasure

well one more problem is that i have to study for my finals and i am well bored,
discipline has always been a problem for all of us

So i guess my problems are the lack of female attention and nervousness from not studying
that was the sum up, if i come up with something else, i ll share it

So lets get out of our way the easy one
STUDYING -> As long as i dont study i ll be nervous
there is no way around it
Do i like what i am studying? Well i kinda do
but of course who is certain?
We definitely have to talk about that too

(listening to light by the way)

Now the difficult part: Women —>>>>>

Man, i think that nowadays this is the biggest problem young men face
its not the worst problem, some dont have water to drink and food to eat
but for the vast majority of men this is it
so spare me the shit

Well, let me say it, the vast majority of us are PUSSIES (no offence for the pussies ahah)
We are all fake, copycats who only care about what other people think
(#! shebang!! If you have that problem READ the subtle art of not giving a fuck, its a fucking great book
it wont solve all your problem but it will help you do it by yourself)

Why do we care so much about what other people think??
(Going to check my phone if one of the 2 girls send something, hopeless? well whatever
i am not perfect)
(Well, she didnt send anything, it was just a friend hahaha)
ok back at it

Why do we care so much about what other people think??
I think i am scared of everyone haha
i am scared of what they will think about me
well fuck them, right?
easier said than done
Lets all try together!
i already doo motherfuckers
lets go

For example, i am scared of what people that work in my local kiosk will think if i buy
something from another place
Well here is what they will think

NOTHING, they dont give a fuck! Only i do
thats kinda funny, still ashamed though

Well to be honest with yall i have done good progress the last few months
and i am proud of it

SO LETS DO THIS FINALY: Why do we care so much about what other people think?? (haha 3rd time)
(The game – one night)
I always had the belief that the only way to be glad is to have everyone like me
men and women
I wanted and still want all girls to think i am sexy, smart and be attracted to me
BUT thats not possible, its one fucked up expectation by myself
2 girls at same time of my life
1 will think that i am the best thing that could happen to her
and the other one will think i am a fucking clown
Thats the truth, thats life
and its good, cause this way there someone for everyone out there
What i got to do?
I have to drive that mindset out of my head
its aimless and hurts me
a lot
all of us
That goes for men too, not everyone will like me
some of them will think i am an idiot
that should be cool with me
i dont like everyone i meet

SO FUCK WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK
WELL FUCK THEM TOO
WHO CARES
THEY WILL FORGET ABOUT US IN 5 MINUTES
(2pac – Killuminati)

We are all so starving for attention
we literally give value to ourself depending on what other think about us

Only God can judge me, is that right?
[synth voice] Only God can judge me now
Only God baby, nobody else, nobody else
All you other motherfuckers get out my business
-pac
man

I need to get value from within
of course we will always be dependent to others giving us value
cause we aint perfect
but we can depend on that as little as possible

Dont run from pain, embrace it
We will always have something that hurts us
take the power out of it
pain is interesting
it tests you
it forges you
it makes you a strong man – woman

Feel happy, feel sad, live life, have fun, do crazy shit you want to do
Fuck what others think.

 

 

 

About Author

The article has been written and brought to you by Nassir Wallace

~*~